Goldless Sickness
by Thaye
Summary: They traveled such great distance and endured so much to reclaim their home. But what if, in the end not everyone finds what they were looking for. A desire that starts burning in the heart and slowly eats away at the mind until nothing matters anymore. (Rating to be safe, Title may be still in progress)
1. Chapter 1

They all fell silent as Thorin pushed the key into the hole that had been revealed by the moon's soft silver glow. The sun had finally set and the last light of Durin's day was shining upon them, sending fits of shiver down everyone's back. No one dared to utter a word as Thorin turned the key in its embedding until it came to a rest with a resounding snap.

_Silence _

He then slowly turned around to look at the company one last time. Balin and Dwalin were standing right behind him an expression of pure anticipation on their faces. Behind them the rest of the company seemed no less eager to finally enter their long forsaken mountain. Everyone but Bilbo was holding their breaths, some of them were smiling, others just stunned by the significance and magic of the moment. Especially Ori, now being the youngest in the group couldn't stand the tension building in the silence and started to nervously hop from one leg to the other.

A small frown appeared on Thorins face. He just now seemed to realize that nearly half of the company was missing. Bofur, Óin and Fili had stayed behind in Esgaroth to look after Kili. A picture of his youngest nephew's face flickered before the soon-to-be king's eyes. Kili's bewilderment as Thorin had told him to stay behind. As he had denied him the right to be at his side when the gates would open. Back at that moment he had seen something break in Kili's eyes though he couldn't really place it yet. Fili had begged him to let Kili go with them, he even offered to carry him. But even if he did carry him they would slow the others down and Thorin would not risk the perfection of this quest for the sake of one dwarf. Not even for his own kin. If just Fili had come with him. He was his heir, the next in line for the throne, he belonged with his king.

Thorin winced imperceptible, his oldest nephew's words still resounded in his mind.

"_I belong with my brother."_

At some point he had been about to pull the boat around and return to his nephews as he had thrown a glance back to where they were standing at the docks. Kili's face had been so unhealthy pale and he was leaning weakly onto his older brother as Fili looked at his uncle with accusation burning in his eyes.

Thorin swallowed hard, feeling a stab of guilt in his chest for leaving them. He tried to push the thought away. The only purpose of this whole quest had been to reclaim Erebor and he was just about to do so. They would be all right. Kili would get better and his nephews would follow him later and share in their uncle's joy at his coronation. A smile appeared on Thorin's lips.

"Thorin?"

His thought-consumed mind returned the attention on Balin. The old dwarf was facing him with a warm and reassuring smile. Ever so slightly he nodded towards the hidden door indicating what everyone else thought. Only now did Thorin realize that the whole company was staring at him in anticipation and that he had been lost in his thoughts for way too long. He scolded himself for being so absentminded when there was such an important event lying before them.

With a quick nod Thorin put both of his large smith hands on the clammy stone feeling his own pulse coursing through his fingertips. He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes as he started to build up pressure against the wall, more and more until it finally gave away underneath his palms and the door swung open, connecting with the wall on the other side with a hollow thud.

Cold musty air escaped the passageway and confirmed any suspicions that it hadn't been opened in quite a while. The smell was all but pleasant and it stung in the Hobbit's nose. Bilbo could hear Nori mutter something about "dragon dung" and he proceeded to cover his nose with his impsovised handkerchief. Thorin in contrary did not stagger back met with the foul odour. He did not even flinch but took a step towards the entrance.

Following Thorin, one dwarf after the other entered the mountain gathering in the middle of the anteroom until they were all inside. Bilbo was the last one to step through the door and while everyone stood as if rooted to the spot he turned his head around to take in this unknown surrounding.

"I know this walls... this halls..."

Like in a dream Thorin slowly moved deeper into the hall and put his hand against one of the walls. "This stone." As significant as this moment seemed to be for Thorin, Bilbo couldn't help but wonder if he really remembered this particularly stone. The halfling suppressed a grin for he found it to be disrespectful to disturb this magical atmosphere.

"Here lies the second kingdom of Durin's folk" Bilbo turned around to find Gloin staring at something just above the entrance. It was a picture, the delicate lines carved into the stone wall.

"May the heart of the mountain unite all dwarfes in defence of his folk" Gloin spoke on as Bilbo stared at the picture in awe.

"The throne of the king." Balin stood right next to Bilbo a content smile on his face, an approving nod following his words which were more directed to himself than to anyone else.

"And what's that above it?" Bilo asked narrowing his eyes, unable to draw his gaze away from the small shape above the carved throne. Balin's smile grew even wider and he chuckled.

"The Arkenstone."

Bilbo frowned. "What's that?" He expected the answer to be given by Balin but instead Thorin's low voice filled the room once more and it was loaded with grandeur.

"That, master burglar is why you are here."

* * *

Fili sat on a chair by the bedside, his head resting on his chest, his blue eyes barely open. The blond dwarf watched his brother's steady breaths as the dim moonlight filtered through the shabby windows of Bard's home. Kili lay calm under the blanket facing his brother with closed eyes, his hair still a bit damp from sweating as is stuck to his forehead. Fili reached out to swipe away one dark curl that had fallen into Kili's face. Brushing the younger dwarf's forehead slightly in the act he nodded approvingly to himself as he realized that his brother's temperatur had returned to almost normal. Though Kili seemed to be sound asleep now Fili could not bring himself to relax fully.

The moment, Tauriels healing approaches had seemed to take advantage over the poison in Kili's system the young dwarf had stopped struggling and screaming and it had taken all of the strengh left in Fili not to run to his brother's side and shove her away.

_One moment, his brother's screams had filled the air, suffocating every other sound and draining Fili to the core. The other, everything was silent. As if a higher creature had stolen every little noise from their world, leaving the four dwarves and one elf in utter, frightening silence. _

_Then, slowly and soft, the she elf began her incarnations, singing rather than speaking in a tongue Fili could not understand. Her body started to sway as she closed her eyes, pressing further down onto Kili who had stopped struggling and just stared at his auburn haired saviour with wide eyes. _

_Fili was on his feet in an instant crawling over the dead orc's bodies to reach his little brother. He took hold of one of Kili's hands that had been clenched tightly around the sheets only seconds ago. A cold wave of fear rushed over Fili as his brother didn't look at him. Kili did not even stir at his reassuring squeeze and Fili sought the elfe's gaze frantically. _

_Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, the she elf fell silent and took her hands off Kili. Fili's eyes watered as his little brother murmured words too soft for his ears to hear and he released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Kili's head lolled to the side as his eyes closed and for a split second the horror that he might never open them again shot daggers through Fili's heart. For a moment he simply sat and watched Kili take in one, two, three even breaths before he allowed himself to relax a little. Resting both hands on either side of his brother's face, Fili drew himself closer, resting his forehead against Kili's, sighing in relief. _

"_Your brother is going to be alright."_

_Fili started at the melodic voice coming from behind him and turned to see the she elf still remaining in the room when he had expected her to be long gone, following her friend. As words failed him, he simply nodded, a thankful expression on his face, saying everything his mouth could not. But Tauriel understood as she smiled back at him with a kind but sad look in her eyes. _

"_I must go now. He still has to fully recover yet but I have trust in your caring, son of Durin."_

_With that she disappeared, leaving Fili to his unconscious brother and to his own thoughts._

The silence was interrupted by a soft moan and Fili was startled out of his thoughts as his brother slowly regained consciousness. With apparent difficulty, Kili lifted his eyelids and for seconds his gaze was caught in a far away stare before the fog around the dark eyes lifted and he blinked several times.

"Kili, you're awake!"

Fili was unable to hide the sheer joy filling his voice as Kili turned his head to look at his big brother, the moonlight shining in his eyes in tiny sparks. He managed a small smile.

"F- Fee. You're here."

Fili returned the smile full heartedly at the moment Oin re-entered the room carrying several bottles and a pile of clean white cloth in his arms.

"Of course I am" He squeezed his little brother's hand reassuringly. "I never left you."

* * *

Had Gandalf been there, Thorin would have smacked him upon the head regardless of the heigh difference. Though he had learned to accept and somewhere deep down in his "grumpy old self" even like the halfling he could still not understand why the wizard was so obsessed with dragging such a careless and unfitting being onto this journey.

In the meantime, the other members of the company had made themselfes comfortable in the anteroom. Gloin and Nori had dragged in some wood and started a small fire, keeping it close to the still open doors for not to choke everyone inside. Now Ori, Nori, Dori, Bifur and Gloin sat down by the fire watching with hungry eyes as Bombur prepared a meal for them. It had been hours since they left lake town and half of them were already "starving".

They had decided for Balin to walk Bilbo further into the mountain and to lay out the details of their plan. He was the oldest of them all and would surely have some kind of smart advice for the halfling. The others had wished their burglar good luck before they set up their "camp".

Thorin snorted. Bilbo could really make good use of luck now since he doubted that the hobbit's skills would be sufficient to fulfill the task. Stupid wizard. What did he know about a dragon's wiles. Deep down Thorin knew how childish these thought were but his stubborn mind refused to admit it. This whole quest was now lying in the hands of a creature that was not even able to leave his home without a handkerchief, leave alone steal anything, even the tiniest piece of gold from a possessive dragon. A humorless chuckle escaped Thorin's throat as the ridiculousness of the situation dawned on him.

Again he began to stride back and forth, ignoring Bombur's food offers despite his growling stomach. How could he think about eating now?

It was when the king in exile began to hiss at even the smallest of laughter from his company that Dwalin who had been standing by the doors as if rooted to the ground for the last hour turned his back to the stunning moonlight to approach the nerve-wrecked dwarf.

"Thorin." The old dwarf stopped pacing and lifted his gaze to meet Dwalin's.

"Come, rest. You're working yourself up."

But Thorin only shook his head and slumped back against the cold stone wall. It felt like an eternity since he last slept but rest was not an option now. His glance was fixed on the passageway where Bilbo and Balin had disappeared an hour ago. Not even Balin had returned yet.

"I shall rest no sooner as my fingers close around the mountain's heart." He forced himself to regain his composure and straightened his back. He then turned to face away from his cousin's worried expression returning to pacing the anteroom.

* * *

Balin led him deeper and deeper down into the mountain. Turning around corners until Bilbo himself, who had an unique sense of directions could not locate himself anymore. He wondered how the old dwarf could still find his way so easily after being cast out of this mountain decades ago.

After walking for what felt like at least a whole hour, Balin eventually came to a halt and Bilbo almost bumped into him as they were surrounded by darkness save for the small torch in Balin's hand.

"Easy, lad. No rush now for this is going to be an important and equally dangerous act of yours." The old dwarf offered Bilbo a reassuring smile as the hobbit tried to keep the fear that was creeping up on him from entering his expression.

"Okay. I go in there. Find the Arkenstone, and be on my way, right?" He swallowed a few times against the lump in his throat with no success.

"Wait, what does the stone even look like?"

Balin chuckled and cocked his head.

"'Tis a great white jewel. You will recognize it once you see it. That I am sure of."

Bilbo nodded and smiled weakly. How many great white jewels could be found in a mountain full of dwarven treasures? _Surely_ not too much!

Balin's hand padded his shoulder and Bilbo forces a determined expression on his face. He would not crumple now so shortly before the completion of his task.

"You know, you don't have to do this." Balin offered him and for a second Bilbo was tempted to accept his offer. But then he remembered his own words.

_Because your home has been taken from you. And I'm going to help you to take it back._

Bilbo straightened his shoulders and looked Balin in the eyes giving a resolved nod.

"I'm not afraid. Whatever awaits me, I'm going to deal with it. I'm not letting you down."

He didn't expect Balin to chuckle at this and his expression became questioningly as the old dwarf shook his head, a wide smile on his lips.

"Amazes me every time. The courage of the hobbits." Though Thorin might not have much trust in the halfling, Balin would trust him with his life for he could see the honesty behind Bilbo's eyes. The courage he had brought up in himself during this quest to reclaim a home that was not his.

"Any last advice?" Bilbo's eyes now casted an determined look and Balin knew he was ready.

"If you should indeed encounter a living dragon down there." He paused for a moment.

"Try not to wake it."

**A/N: So, hey there. This is my first Hobbit fanfiction and I hope this first chapter was okay, I'm trying very hard to produce long chapters but somehow they all end up about this lenght, so yeah... Unfortunately, english is not my native language so if you (most likely) find mistakes I'm very sorry I try to keep them at a minimum by reading every sentence over and over but some just slip through (damn them, nasty mistakes! *grrr*) By the way the story switches perspectives whenever there is this "_" so you don't wonder. There are most likely going to be three perspectives: Thorin, Bilbo and Fili/Kili  
**

**If you enjoyed this nevertheless you can leave me a review also if you have any improvements, I'm always open for them! **

**Love :3 **

**Thaye**


	2. Chapter 2

It had been hours since Balin and Bilbo had disappeared through the tunnel, leaving the company with the mere promise of being back as soon as possible. As more and more time passed with neither Bilbo nor Balin showing up Thorin's gaze had grown piercing. At some point he quit pacing through the anteroom and settled himself on a ledge, peering straight at the tunnel's entrance. No offer of food or drink could draw his attention away. Even Dwalin had eventually left his post to join the company at the fire, though now and then he threw a worried glance at their leader. He would have given anything to know what was going on in this stubborn dwarf's head.

"You think Kili's alright?"

Ori's clear voice stood out against the babble of voices of those gathered around the small fireplace. Immediately the young dwarf clasped his hands over his mouth. He had not planned to draw everyone's attention with this simple question that was addressed solely to Dori who was sitting beside him. The murmuring ceased at once and the room fell deadly silent.

Gloin was the first one to speak after he took in a deep breath. He had talked to his brother after the barrel ride just before Bard found them, soggy to the bones and stripped of every belongings they had. The old healer had watched Kili stagger ashore, buckling immediately as his leg refused to support him. The arrow shaft was already snapped with the tip most likely still buried deep in the young dwarf's flesh. There had been no time to dig it out right then thanks to Thorin who had pushed them to move on quickly.

"_Bind his leg, you have two minutes." _Even now Gloin shuddered at the mere memory of the coldness in their leader's voice.

"_If the tip is not removed as soon as possible, I can't guarantee he won't catch an infection." _Oin's usually calm expression was alarmed but Thorin was already gone scouting ahead and did not hear the healer's words.

"I'm pretty sure they were able to get him help soon enough." He chose his words carefully. They all had seen their youngest member's abnormally pale face as he slumped down on the bench, defeat glowing in his eyes, his expression disbelievingly pained.

Nevertheless the others muttered their approval to Gloin's statement. Ori didn't seem to be much convinced but he did not dare to disagree as he looked over to where Thorin was leaning against the wall, his gaze as cold as ice.

* * *

_He was back home in Ered Luin. It was barely after dawn and soft pink veils covered the blue sky as the rising sun shyly peeked up behind the distant silhouette of the misty mountains_._The air was still cool_ _but already full of humming and chirping as they stepped out of the door. Uncle Thorin had promised to teach them how to shoot today and so the two dwarflings had already been up for hours, though the sun had not even risen until now, and strained Thorin's nerves until he picked up the two child-sized bows along with his own and two quivers. _

_Fili lifted his head and eagerly sucked in the fresh air as the door fell shut behind them. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Kili shiver in the fresh breeze and wrapping his arms around his torso. With a broad grin on his face, Fili strolled over and nudged his baby brother's shoulder playfully._

"_Hey, Kee. You know what?" He said teasingly and Kili's big dark eyes darted up to meet the ocean blue ones of his brother that sparkled with mirth._

"_What?" He asked, unable to hide the curiosity in his voice, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his jacket. Fili giggled._

"_Last one to reach the lake is a fat lazy warg!" And with that the blond dwarfling sprinted off, ignoring his uncle's disapproving shouts._

"_H-Hey, that's not fair!" Kili protested and ran after his big brother. _

_Though his legs were longer and he had a decent lead in the race, Fili reached the lake only seconds before Kili did. Laughing and panting heavily they both dropped down into the grass to catch their breath, letting the morning sun warm their faces. It was not long until a shadow stepped in front of them and Thorin dropped down on one knee to meet them at eye level._

"_Now, you two done playing around?" His tone was serious but his eyes sparkled with cheerfulness and soon a grin broke out on his face as he pulled his nephews to their feet. _

"_Uncle Thorin is a lazy fat warg!" Kili stated with an expression of pure joy on his face before he burst into laughter again. Fili rolled his eyes and picked up one of the smaller bows, shoving the other one into Kili's hands. _

"_You stand like this" Thorin adopted a stable posture with his legs spread at the lenght of his shoulder range. He watched closely as his nephews followed suit and mimicked him._

"_Your feet a little bit more apart, Fili – That's it. Kili you're doing great. A stable footing is an archers lifeline. Lose your footing, lose your aim, miss your target."_

_The two dwarflings listened in awe and sucked in every single word of their uncle's lecture. Thorin nodded approvingly before he reached behind his back and took an arrow from the quiver. _

_Fili couldn't help but smile as he caught a glimpse of the fascinated expression on Kili's face, he followed the shining metal of the arrow head with his gaze. It was not the first time Fili had seen his baby brother getting obsessed with something but it was definitely the most intense of this sort of moments. A particularly valuable moment. _

_Then, everything became odd. It was as if the whole forest had fallen silent. Not a single rustle of leaves was to be heard and the soft breeze of the spring morning stopped so suddenly that Fili could almost see the air cease it's movement. _

_An unknown fear overcame him and he tore his gaze away from his brother to seek his uncle's advising eyes..._

_Only to find them staring at him hatefully, black clouds veiled the bright blue and dark shadows had formed on Thorin's face. The arrow's tip Kili had been so fascinated with only seconds before was pointed directly at them. _

"_U-uncle..." Fili's voice failed him as he heard Kili beside him whimper in fear. The gaze in Thorin's eyes was unbroken, unmoving. Then the arrow found it's target, broke through flesh, burying itself deep. _

"_Feee... Fili!"_

_Darkness._

"Fili!"

The smell of a hearth fire tickled his nose.

"Come on, laddie. You hafta get up."

Fili's head snapped up instantly from where it had been resting atop his arms on the bed where Kili still lay unmovingly. He blinked a few times and shook his head dizzily, the last scraps of the nightmare version of a memory slipping through his fingers, too fast for Fili to process as he drifted fully into consciousness.

"That's it, easy there." Bofur's voice was kind and soft but also had an edge of worry in it. He grabbed Fili's shoulders and pushed him back into the chair in a sitting position. Fili looked at him drowsily and Bofur offered a smile before handing him a bowl of what smelled like fish stew.

"Not even a son of Durin can survive without food, laddie." He stated taking a few steps back to look the young dwarf over. His usually shining blond hair was mat, his braids untidy and dark circles had formed under Fili's eyes for the lack of sleep.

Oin approached from behind nodding in Fili's direction.

"You should really eat this, lad. Food is not so easy to come by here. Also you'll need all your strengh when we move on."

Fili nodded in defeat. _If we ever move on,_ he added in silence. In the last days his appetite had decreased constantly to a point where it didn't exist anymore and he had simply stopped eating. Worry about his brother's wellbeing was the only thing that filled his mind. Although they still had to tend to the wound left by the arrow head, the elf maiden had cleared his system completely of the poison. Kili's temperature, breathing and pulse were normal but he would not wake up.

Even Oin could find no explanation. It almost seemed as if Kili did not _want_ to wake up. No matter what they tried, it had no effect on him.

And it drove Fili mad with worry.

He scooped up the last bits of the stew unenthusiastically and put the bowl aside, returning to his self-imposed task of watching over his brother, though Kili had not moved for hours now. Fili sighed desperately and fumbled Kili's hand out from underneath the blanket to hold it firmly in his own and squeeze it now and then as if that would bring him back to consciousness.

Bofur shook his head sympathetically and returned to Oin and Bain sitting by the kitchen table. It hurt him to see young Fili in such a state of desperation but there was nothing he could do other then offering him comfort he knew the young dwarf wouldn't accept.

Fili's eyes threatened to drift shut once more. _Mahal, _was he tired! But he forced them open again. He would not allow himself to fall asleep now. Kili needed him. He should not be alone when he woke up.

_If he'll ever wake up._

Fili clenched his teeth at his own thoughts and balled his free hand into a fist so tight, that he drew blood. A single tear slid down his cheek

_Why won't you wake up, little brother? I can't lose you..._

"_Lose your footing, lose your aim, miss your target."_

Kili was his footing and there was no way Fili would allow him to slip away after all they've been through together. He won't miss his target.

* * *

"Thorin please, let me sit for just a moment. There's no need for such agitation."

The old dwarf almost begged, obviously exhausted as he made to sit down beside the others at the campfire. Bombur already held a bowl of stew ready for him and Balin nodded in appreciation before reaching out for the long-desired meal. Thorin, however, would have none of it. Ignoring the elder's complaints, he grabbed his arm roughly in a death grip and pulled him upright once more to meet his steel-cold gaze. Dwalin's form tensed as if he was ready to step in between if needed.

"For Mahal's sake, is this treatment really necessary Thorin?" Balin groaned as his tired limbs protested against the exertion. Stumbling to his feet, he looked Thorin in the eye and what he saw concerned him. He knew that look in their leader's eyes for he had seen the same spark of madness in both, those of Thorin's father and grandfather. Though it was not more than a small flicker, Balin frowned at the foreboding that filled his mind. Then Thorin began to speak and his voice was as cutting as a blade and as deadly as the morgul poison, it sent shivers down even Dwalin's back.

"The Arkenstone, where is it?"

Balin sighed, he had expected that to come. And though the burning in his cousin's eyes tightened it's grip around his heart he would have been happy himself, if he could give him an answer.

But he could not.

"Thorin, I only just dropped him off. Bilbo is most likely still searching for it." He shook his head ans smiled softly, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"What did you expect? That he walks in and trips over the Arkenstone by chance after only a few steps? You know that's not going to happen. If Smaug-"

"Shut up!" Thorin released his grip on the dwarf's arm and turned his back to the company. Seconds passed and no one dared to speak up for they feared to be ripped in half by their leader's mere infuriated glance.

"I will not have one of you ever question me again."

With a sad shake of his head, Balin settled himself beside his brother, exchanging worried looks with Dwalin. Ori ducked his head at the harsh words and Bombur forgot to swallow his half-chewed stew. They all looked at Thorin in utter disbelief. Up until this point their company had been more like a family than anything else. They respected each other and nearly every decision was made together.

"I am the rightful king under the mountain and all of you will do as I say. If you don't, you will be expelled."

With that, Thorin walked further away from the fire and into the shadows where he once again began to pace untiringly.

Eventually the company resumed their conversations but they were weighted down by the latest outburst. No one laughed or told funny stories, there were nothing but dim voices whispering in the growing shadows of the anteroom, hoping that Thorin would overhear them.

At first no one noticed the hurried footsteps sounding out of the tunnel where Bilbo had disappeared hours ago.

* * *

"Well that was one helpful advice!" Bilbo spoke to himself while decending further down into the darkness of Erebor. He had noticed that the shadows left him alone as long as he babbled on and on. At some point the hushed words coming out of the hobbit's mouth didn't even make sense anymore but Bilbo couldn't care less as long as they kept the fear from creeping up on him.

"Maybe I should try pig riding one day, sounds like a lot of fun." How could he have forgotten to bring a torch, he couldn't even see his own hand in front of him, leave alone where he placed his feet. More than once he stepped onto something sharp and despite his robust sole hissed in pain. One hand on the wall beside him and one reaching out in front of him he slowly made his way through the tunnel.

"But then my clothes will most likely get dirty and I do not appreciate dirty clothes, not at all!" He turned around a corner and almost cried out in relief as he saw light not far ahead of him.

"Easy now, if the treasure chamber is ahead, so is the dragon." He reminded himself and came to an sudden halt. Doubts started to gnaw at him. Did he really have what it took to accomplish this task? He was no burglar, just an ordinary hobbit, not even one of the strongest or tallest, what could he possibly do? He was not meant to be here in the dephts of a mountain that was posessed by a dragon. This was _madness_! What had become of the unhurried halfling that liked to enjoy a late but extended dinner in a cozy armchair in front of the fireplace? He had sentenced himself to death!

_I cant't do this._

Bilbo staggered back a few steps before his back hit the wall behind him. He swallowed hard as he imagined being pinned against this wall with Smaug the Terrible towering in front of him and then the burning sensation of the dragonfire. He squeezed his eyes shut against his own imagination but he could not will the pictures away for he knew they could come true every second now.

_I should not be here. I can't do this... I can't..._

_You signed the contract. _Some brave voice in the back of his mind addressed him in a half-mocking tone. _You can not back down now._ Bilbo forced his eyes open once again and took a shuddering breath.

The voice was right. He signed the contract, his duty lay with the dwarves and their quest of reclaiming their homeland. More than that, he _wanted _to help them because they never had a proper home while he himself had been comfortable in Bag End for half his life. That just _wasn't fair._

His hand wandered to the small vest pocket and his fingers slipped into the soft fabric until they reached the cold metal band. The touch was calming and embracing and Bilbo felt himself relax to the point where his fear almost vanished completely. The ring was the answer. How else could he get in there and out again alive? If Smaug was unable to see Bilbo, he could not be killed, right? He almost expected the ring to answer him as he took it out of the pocket and turned it over in his fingers a maniac grin spreading unnoticed over his face.

"You will protect me, won't you, my precious?"

Of course the ring did not answer him but in the calm silence that followed his words Bilbo found the agreement he needed. He pushed himself away from the wall, willing himself to take one, two, three determined steps towards the tunnel's exit and suddenly he was out of the darkness.

The hall he stepped into was amazing. Amaizingly big, amazingly wide... _amazingly empty_.

As if in a dream Biblo exited the tunnel and found himself on top of a great staircase. The steps to his feet lead down into a large hall with rows after rows of pillars carved out of the stone and polished to glow in the dim moonlight that filtered through several openings in the ceiling high above and from numerous balconies. Bilbo's breath caught in his throat as he was stunned by the beauty of the place. The handiwork was delicate and seemed so pure and magnificent that Bilbo's mind refused to believe that is was made by mortal hands and out of simple stone. And this was just one of many halls in the dwarven kingdom. Little could he understand now why it had been so important for Thorin to come back home.

However, all the beauty could not hide the fact that the hall was completely empty, though Balin had confirmed Bilbo that he would find the treasure chamber in this place. No dragon was to be seen, not an ounce of gold to be found, left alone some _great white jewel_. Was this the wrong place? It couldn't be. Balin had told him exactly where to go moreover it had not been that hard to find. _Turn left, then walk ahead until you turn right. You'll see the light ahead. Take care, lad._

So if this_ was indeed_ the treasure chamber, then where was the treasure? Where was the dragon that should be guarding mountains of gold and silver? Shining jewels and shiny things of all sorts. The smell of the "dragon dung" Nori had mentioned earlier was almost unbearable. There was no doubt, this _was_ the right place.

Realization hit him like a fist to the stomach and Bilbo reeled a step backwards.

"He's gone." He breathed out as he spun around, taking in the whole surrounding area.

"He's really gone!" He skittered to a halt, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. He had to go back and tell them. Tell them that Smaug the Terrible no more posessed Erebor. Tell them that they could come and rebuild the home they so long craved for.

Never had he thought he could ran _that_ fast through the darkness. He did not allowed himself to rest until he could hear the muffled voices of the company in the anteroom. His lungs were burning and his feet most likely bleeding but he forced himself on until he could see the soft glow of the campfire. Gasping for air he reached the tunnels end and nearly run Thorin over as he came to a halt and collapsed to the ground for his feet would not carry him any further. Eight pairs of eyes immediately darted towards him as he tried to catch his breath enough to speak.

"H-He... He's gone!" He managed to get out eventually.

Thorin's face suddenly lost all colour as the blood froze in his veins. The rest of the company had struggled to their feet, gathering aroung the halfling, those who were not rooted to the spot in shock offered Bilbo a comforting clap on the shoulder but no one said a word.

"What did you say?"

Thorin's voice was hoarse and small as is he did not trust it to not shatter under the weight of his words. Bilbo frowned. He had expected the king to be relieved once he found out that the biggest threat was taken off them. But Thorin seemed all but amused.

"Smaug has left the mountain."

**A/N: Uh-oh.. so who's surprised now? Me not (of course 'cause I wrote the story :P) So maybe you will think now: Oh so the dragon is gone now, huh? This is going to be boring as hell! But...nope! I intend this story to be interesting and intense, there are going to be a lost of angst moments so stay tuned! Maybe now the title of this story gets a little bit clearer, just to say ;)**

**Please let me know if there are mistakes (as already mentiones, I'm not a native speaker and I'm trying my best)**

**Also reviews make my world go round and if you have written your own story already you will understand me if I tell you that they really encourage me to keep writing, so please review to let me know what you think!**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**Love :3**

**Thaye**


	3. Chapter 3

With every step he took, Thorin's thoughts grew darker and darker. He had moved further away from the company and their warming campfire, pacing in the shadows as seconds became minutes and the minutes stretched to hours. Balin had returned not long ago with no valuable information about what was most precious for Thorin. The old dwarf even dared to speak up against him, to _accuse _him of being ridiculous. Thorin would no longer accept any behaviour of this kind in his presence and would not hesitate to make his point clear to anyone that contradicted him. He was the king and if they didn't pay him the respect he deserved this society would be doomed to fail. It was his duty to keep everything going and ensure that no one stepped out of the line. And if that meant to discipline an old friend for the sake of their quest, for the sake of _his _quest, he would be very glad to obey.

_That's not true._ Somewhere in the back of his mind a small voice spoke up. Thorin came to a sudden halt, glaring furiously into the shadows that danced over the stone walls seeming to get thicker every minute as his mind spun further down in an endless vortex of heated frustration. This quest, the great treasures of Erebor, _the Arkenstone_ were the only things that mattered now. They had not come this far just to have everything ruined by some incapable halfling.

_His name is Bilbo and you know of his skills. _The voice didn't seem to back down so easily. Thorin scowled and a low, rumbling growl escaped through clenched teeth as his hands curled into fists. He didn't notice the other's converations ceasing as he stood with his back to the campfire. It was nothing but luck that Bilbo had been able to free them from Thranduils dungeon. It didn't change the fact that he was still a weak halfling, continuously moaning and bugging everyone with his homesickness. Thorin's scowl deepened at that thought. What did the hobbit knew about their situation? He wasn't driven from his home by a barbarous dragon, he hadn't seen friends and family catch fire and burn to death in front of him, he did not have to endure the screams of those he was unable to save.

Thorin's fist collided with the stone wall without a warning and the company gathered around the campfire flinched at the sudden movement.

There was no way Bilbo could possibly understand his loss, what had been taken from him, the most precious thing in middle earth.

_It's just a jewel. _There it was again. The nasty little voice in his head, mocking him, rebuking him for his anger. Thorin started to dislike it more and more. The Arkenstone was more than just a jewel. It was his treasure, the one thing that gave him the right to rule, to sit upon the thrown of Erebor. Without it, there would be no home to rebuild, it wouldn't be the same.

_Don't be a fool. Home is home, with or without treasure._ Thorin felt the urge to silence the voice. Retrieving more into the shadows, hiding himself from the other's sight he leaned against the wall, his fingers entangled with strands of hair as he pressed trembling fists into the sides of his head. There was reason in this unwelcome voice he didn't want to accept. Erebor was the home he had always dreamed of. The glorious halls of his ancestors, carved out of the stone in delicate handwork.

His home was this place... or was it the treasure?

A throbbing headache overtook him and he let his hands fall limp to his sides. He didn't know what to believe anymore. He craved for the treasure, the jewel that filled his dreams with joy and his waking hours with longing. After all, it was what this whole quest was about, wasn't it?

_You left Ered Luin to reclaim your home. _Then there was this voice, telling him that treasures were not everything.

_You departed to offer your family the home they deserve. _

Family. Thorin's eyes widened as the simple word filtered through his confused mind like a soft morning breeze. His family was gone, lost to dragonfire or madness, there were only few people left that he cared for.

His sister back in Ered Luin had been so heavy hearted to let her sons join their uncle on a quest she had no understanding for. He would never forget the pained look in Dis eyes as she reluctantly nodded her approvement, tears threatening to flood the oceans of her eyes. The memory of it almost made Thorin sick. Never since their brother's death had he seen his little sister so desperate, begging him not to do this to her. Not to take away from her the only things she had left.

But the decision was made. Not only by him but also by his nephews and Dis had been pale like death itself as she waved them goodbye, not expecting to ever see them again.

Thorin had promised her to bring them back alive, even if that meant to sacrifice his own life. By leaving a diseased Kili behind in Esgaroth he might have broken his promise.

As realization hit him, a cold hand clenched around his heart in a tightening grip. He had just abandoned his family for the treasure. Kili could already be dead for all he knew. He had proven to everyone what Dis knew from the beginning.

_Family is more important than any treasure in the world. _He wanted to pull this cruel voice out of his head, toss it to the ground and kick it until it would never speak up again. He had done this for his family, for his nephews that never had a real place to call home, for his company, for all those he had lost. But how was he supposed to do this without the one thing that gave him the right to reclaim Erebor? The Arkenstone was the key to a joyous future, they needed it, _he_ needed it. It wouldn't be the same.

Light, hurried footsteps echoed through the hall as Thorin's thoughts threatened to drift into the whirl of emotions once more. He spun around to see Bilbo come running out of the tunnel nearly knocking him over as he skittered to a halt right in front of him. Immediately Thorin knew that something was wrong for the hobbit's hand were empty and he was panting heavily from running such distance, his eyes wide with excitement.

Thorin's thoughts raced in his mind, searching for an explanation. The dragon must have woken up, otherwise Bilbo wouldn't be back without the one thing he was sent out to steal. He swore under his breath, barely able to hide the terror as he glanced down at Bilbo who was still trying to catch his breath. Doubts crept up on him, the more time the hobbit took to regain his ability to speak. If Smaug was awake, should they not have heard him already?

"H-He... He's gone!"

It took a few seconds for the stuttered words to sink down into Thorin's clouded mind. The moment they did, the king's blood ran cold. He was not sure if he had understood Bilbo correctly. It could not be. He couldn't be gone, why should he? Every feeling left his limbs and his look was nothing but a blank stare.

"What did you say?"

His voice sounded nothing like his own. It was hoarse and small like a child's one, unsure of wether to be allowed to speak or not. Thorin's strained posture slumped for a moment as he locked eyes with Bilbo, his gaze almost begging the hobbit to break out in a grin and tell them that he was just kidding them.

"Smaug has left the mountain."

It was like a physical blow right into his face. For a few seconds it robbed him of his sight and Thorin staggered back a few steps, his mouth slightly agape before catching up with reality. He forced his gaze to focus on the hobbit kneeling in front of him. Had Thorin seen the dark clouds veiling his blue eyes he had been afraid of himself.

In an instant he was crouched beside Bilbo, grabbing his collar and roughly pushing him upright and against the wall. The hobbit's feet left the ground and he squirmed in Thorin's grip, trying to get away from the enraged dwarf. But Thorin just tightened his grip and leaned in closer until his face was just centimeters away from Bilbo's and he could feel the hobbit's fearful, ragged breaths on his own skin.

"Where is the Arkenstone?"

Thorin didn't even recognize his own voice anymore, so full was it with hatred and suppressed rage. He felt a hand on his shoulder but didn't bother turning around to see who it was.

"Thorin, calm down" Balin's calm but warning voice pierced his mind and he shrugged of the hand, a deep growl escaping his throat. It sounded more like an animal than himself.

"I give you five seconds to answer, _Master Burglar_." Thorin spat the last two words right into Bilbo's face and he almost enjoyed the terrified look in the hobbit's eyes as he struggled to come up with an answer.

"Four, three, two..."

"I-It's not t-there Thorin, I swear!" Bilbos voice was shrill as he struggled to get out of the death grip, already fearing for his life.

"Liar!" Thorin roared, lifting Bilbo a few inches higher befor slamming him back against the wall eliciting a yelp of pain from the hobbit. He knew it the moment he had stepped through his door back in the shire. Bilbo was unfitted for this and now he had ruined everything. Thorin's wrath doubled as he thought back to the day when they had escaped the goblin caves and he apologized to Bilbo for calling him pathetic. He had been right.

"You dirty liar, you disgust me!" He proceeded to shake Bilbo whose body had already gone lax from the exertion of struggling.

"That's enough!" Dwalin's voice rumbled through the hall as he took a hold of both of Thorin's arms from behind him and forced them lower. He had always been stronger than Thorin, though neither one of them would state it aloud. Thorin broke his hateful stare briefly to meet Dwalin's pitying eyes and a look of betrayal flittered across his own. How could his own kin turn against him? How could his cousin betray him?

Thorin felt Dwalin's strong hands loosen his grip and Bilbo slumped against the wall, immediately scrambling a few steps away as he noticed Thorin's furiated glance still on him.

"How pathetic!" Thorin spat out, his mind was clouded in burning anger. Only then he noticed Dwalin holding his arms in a tight grip behind his back and it even fuelled his anger.

"Take your filthy hands off me, you traitor!" He tried to kick the dwarf restraining him but instead found himseld being dragged through the hall to the entrance of the hidden passageway.

* * *

"It's not my fault, you know that!" On raised his hands as if to defend himself but all he got as an answer was Fili's enraged stare that pierced him to the spot. His eyes were reddened and circled by dark shadows, giving the usual joyful dwarf a kind of insane expression. Oin had never see the young Durin in such a bad state and it worried him almost more than Kili's unexplained koma. Since days the young lad had barely slept and the exhaustion seemed to tear at his mind. Under different circumstances he would never have pushed the old healer away or shouted at him like he just did. Fili was a well-educated dwarf with respect for his elders, both of the boys were, Thorin had made sure of it. Since their father's death, he had seen it as his duty to raise his sister-sons to respective dwarves and skilled warriors to the point where the boys were as closest as he could get to own children.

Oin smiled. Thorin would never admit it – his pride wouldn't allow it – but the father feelings he harbored for the two youngsters were immense and undeniable.

As Fili turned his back to Oin and stormed out of the room the old dwarf scolded himself for getting lost in his own thoughts. This had been the moment in which he was supposed to comfort the young dwarf's heated mood, to tell him that everything was going to be allright, that he needn't worry about his brother for he would surely wake up soon.

But on the other hand, he couldn't bring himself to lie to Fili. He had no explanation why Kili would not wake up since his vital signs were perfectly fine. It seemed that all they could do was to give him time.

Fili walked right through the small kitchen of Bard's house towards the front door. He ignored the irritated stares from Tilda and Sigrid who were busy preparing dinner and slammed the door open. Cool air hit him in the face as he stepped outside. The weather was getting colder and colder with every day that passed. Sometimes Fili thought that the whole lake would freeze and imagined walking over it, most likely slipping and hitting the ground rear-first like he used to when Kili and him went ice-skating as children.

As the cold breeze forced it's way through every little uncovered spot and chilled him to the bones, Fili pulled his fur coat tighter around his body, shivering as he took a few steps and settled himself on small porch in front of the house. Now and then when he couldn't stand the atmosphere and the sight of Kili's unmoving form and longer he would come here to sort up his mind. The cold was also good to repress the fatigue that tugged at his consciousness once he stayed in the dark room for too long. Oin had told him multiple times that he should sleep and not work himself up to much about the situation but the thing was, Fili _wanted to_ sleep, but at the same time he was _afraid_ of sleeping.

'Cause Everytime he fell asleep, the nightmares returned.

It began simple, with small strips of childhood memory fitted together in odd combinations, completely messing them up and giving them another sense. He didn't remember much of it, only that when he awoke he was pretty scared and felt sort of numb.

Everytime when sleep caught up on him it was the same procedure. Happy memories ending bad or missing particular parts that were replaced by totally different ones.

But then things started to get more... drastic. It wasn't just memory anymore. It were horrific images of the future, grotesque pictures painted in blood and desperation. Though he couldn't remember all of it (thank Mahal) they all had one thing in common – Thorin.

Fili squeezes his eyes shut to will away a specific scene that was playing over and over in his had since the last time he had fallen asleep.

_The ground was tinted red. The air was full of pained moans and whimpers of loss. His vision was full of faces covered in dirt and blood, of severed limbs and ripped-out chunks of flesh, hands reaching up to him. He couldn't move, he couldn't even feel his legs, it was as if his muscles had stopped functioning. _

_He heared the scream of a familiar voice up ahead and lifted his gaze. His blood ran cold. _

_There he was, towering over everything, decorating this scenery of death in a terrifying, yet beautiful manner. His head slightly tilted, Thorin Oakenshield looked down at something cowering in front of him. The edge of his blade glistened in the rays of sun that broke through the cloud cover. The person in front of him let out a frightened yelp and tried to crawl away but it was futile. Thorin's eyes were full of hatred and something else as he brought down his sword and for a moment Fili could make out his little brother's horrified face, the silver beads in Kili's untamed hair before everything went black. _

Fili pressed both hands over his eyes and moaned in exhaustion. No matter how hard he tried, he was not able to shake off this nightmares. What in Aule's name was going on? Why were his dreams suddenly haunted by such cruel imaginations? Was it his own mind playing tricks on him?

The sound of the door opening and closing behind him pulled Fili out of his thoughts and back into reality that did not offer much more comfort. Not bothering to turn around to see who was approaching, Fili kept his gaze on the curls of smoke ascending from a chimney of one of the bigger houses. It was not until something heavy dropped onto the porch beside him that he was forced to face his unwelcome company. To his surprise it was Bard, now sitting next to him, mutely narrowing his eyes on the silhouette of the lonely mountain that was barely visible in the evening fog hanging over the lake.

Fili tugged his knees closer to his body, wrapping his arms around them to suppress a shiver. Bard still sat there in silence, unmoving and Fili started to feel awkward as the silence between them stretched. Before he could even start to wriggle his toes nervously, he decided to speak.

"So, master Bard. How long do you think you can affort to host us?" He could have smacked himself in the face for it. Was there even a worse way to start this conversation?

Bard shrugged. He picked up a small stone and threw it into the nearest canal. The splash broke the silence that followed Fili's words and the dwarf flinched despite himself.

"Not sure. Your kin paid me good for smuggling you into town. We should manage a few days more according to my calculations."

Fili nodded but didn't say anything. He just stared ahead at the circles, the stone had left in the water, watching them grow wider and wider until they vanished, new ones replacing them.

For a while, neither one of them spoke and the silence grew intimidating once more. Fili's mind once more returned to his brother and a frown appeared on his face without his noticing. Bard sighed and seemed to struggle for words. The silence seemed to make him uncomfortable as well and there had to be a reason he had seeked the dwarf's company.

"I know what you might be thinking." Fili turned his head to face Bard and the frown deepened.

"What's that?"

"That you and your brother are only a burden to us and that we are going to cast you out sooner or later." Bard rubbed his hands against each other in an attempt to warm up his already frozen fingers. As Fili remained silent, he took it as an invitation to speak on.

"It's not going to happen, not if I can prevent it." Fili turned to look at him, unable to hide the astonishment in his expression. It took him a few seconds to process Bard's words.

"B-but why?" he struggled to get out. "We didn't cause you anything but trouble." Bard shook his head and cleared his throat.

"First of all it wasn't you who caused me troubles, but your uncle. Second, your brother's state is worrying me. Also I noticed the despair in your eyes when you sit beside him. It hurts me to see a brotherly bond as strong as yours being strained by this situation." He paused for a second, once again searching for the right words to say.

"I might not be too fond of dwarves, but I'm not a bad person. I'm not blind for the need of those who cannot help themselves."

Fili nodded again, remembering Bard's words back when they passed the gates of Esgaroth, hidden in barrels, burried under layers of stinking fish. He would not let the mayor and his consultant play their corrupt games at the expense of the citizen. Bard helped where he could and it made no difference to him if it were men or dwarves that seeked his support.

"Thank you." He finally offered Bard a little but sincere smile. "For everything. I'll never forget your kindness, Master Bard. Without your help my brother... Kili would be-" Before he could force out the word that already builded a lump in his throat he was interrupted by the squeking noise of the opening door and hurried footsteps coming their way.

"Ada!" The melody of Tilda's voice carried away the gravity of the moment and they both turned around to see the girl hurrying towards them. Bard's face lit up with a smile as he opened his arms to embrace his daughter.

"What's the matter sweetheart? Are Sigrid and you finished preparing dinner?" The girl shook her head, eyeing Fili with a strange expression on her face.

"The grumpy old one sent me." She stated with a determined voice.

"You mean Oin?" Fili asked and Tilda nodded hesitantly.

"Yeah, the one with the funny ear trumpet. He says your brother has woken up."

Bard raised his eyebrow and patted her head. "Is that so?" He grinned at Fili who was on his feet in an instant. "Good to hear, don't you think master Fili?"

But 'master Fili' was already gone, the wooden porch still vibrating softly from his heavy footsteps. Bard couldn't stop smiling as he had seen the flicker of excitement in Fili's eyes that had looked unbearable dead in the last few days.

He could hear muffled voices inside the bedroom as he once again rushed through the kitchen in a hurry, barely noticing the alluring smell of food coming from several pots over the fireplace. Before bursting into the room Fili stopped himself and took in a few deep breaths. Kili would most likely be confused and exhausted, just having awoken out of a koma that lasted days. There was no need to unsettle him further by scurrying around him like an excited puppy. All his containment was lost, however as he heard the voice of his little brother in frail and unsure tone. "Bofur... Where's Fili?"

He yanked the door open and raced to the bedside, dropping down on his knees as he was close enough to wrap his arms around Kili's form, slumped against a mountain of pillows.

"Wha... Fee?" Kili's surprised yelp was muffled by the fabric of Fili's tunic as he pressed his brother closer to his chest, burying the younger dwarf's face in his shoulder. Eventually, Kili had overcome the shock of being squeezed nearly to death and returned his big brother's gesture, wrapping his arms around Fili's back still a little bit weak.

The embrace lasted a little while and neither Oin nor Bofur dared to speak as not to interrupt the intensity of this moment. Fili placed one hand on the back of Kili's head and ruffled the dark hair heartedly.

"I thought I had lost you, little brother." His voice was hoarse and strained and only now did he realize that he was holding back tears. Eventually, Fili broke the hug and hold his brother at arm's length to look him over. _Mahal, _was it good to see Kili awake again. He had already thought that he would never see the life, glistening with an ubiquitous sparkle of mirth in his brother's eyes again. Kili looked exhausted and thinner than he had been but he was awake, he was _alive_.

"You didn't really believe I would just leave you here, did you? Come on, I thought you knew me better, Fee." Kili responded, having recovered from the hug-attack, a wide grin on his lips.

Fili chuckled, ruffling his brother's dark mane once more.

"Why do you always have to scare me with this reckless stunts you pull off all the time?" They both laughed for a second, before Kili slumped back into the pillows, the grin fading to a smile. "How long was I unconscious?" He turned his head towards Oin who stood at the left side of the bed, watching the reunion in silent awe. He now stepped closer and put a reassuring hand on Kili's shoulder.

"Almost a week, lad. Now don't expend yourself too much. You should take it easy at first, but the worst is over as for all I know."

Kili nodded and allowed his eyelids to drift shut. "And I will not fall back into koma if I go to sleep now? I'm pretty tired." He cracked one eye open again. Oin chuckled.

"I don't think so. Your spirit has found it's way back to your body and if not for a really good reason, it should stay where it is now for a little longer." That was enough for Kili to close his eye and nod with a smile of contentment on his lips. Then he seemed to remember something.

"Fili, will you stay with me?" Kili didn't have the strength left to open his eyes once again and so instead of nodding, Fili took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I would like nothing more right now. Sleep then, gather your energy. I will not have you slip away once more, you understand?"

Kili smiled and nodded. "Got it."

Fili soon later fell asleep by his brother's side and this time, the nightmares would leave him alone.

* * *

He was pushed into the wall outside of the passageway, his wrists still held firmly in Dwalin's grasp. As soft strands of moonlight covered his face, Thorin felt the anger that clouded his mind ease. He blinked several times and took in a few deep breaths before he dared to look up to meet Dwalin's gaze. He expected hatred or even contempt but all he found was pity.

Dwalin took his time to talk, as he always did when matters were serious. The air was cold and refreshing, the night clear and almost soundless. For seconds, the only thing Thorin would hear was his own heartbeat deep down in his chest, getting calmer with every breath he took.

"It's happening, you know what I speak of." Dwalin's voice was calm and rational, he did not take his gaze off his king as he tried to find a way to get through to the Thorin he knew.

"What do you mean?" Thorin snapped, his blue eyes piercing right through Dwalin. But the other dwarf just sighed and narrowed his eyes.

"You know exactly what I mean. Your behavior in there... that wasn't you, Thorin."

"Who do you think you are to tell me how to behave? My mother?" Thorin snarled and then chuckled humorlessly.

"We're old friends and maybe you can lie to someone else about it but you can't lie to me." Dwalin's gaze was getting more intense as he tried to reason with the madness that already consumed Thorin's mind.

"You know what I'm talking about and you have been afraid about it."

"_Master _Dwalin, if I'll ever need your advice I let you know of it." Thorin yanked his arms free of Dwalin's hold and took a few steps back facing away from him. Of course he knew what Dwalin was talking about, but his exaggeration was immeasurably. This was not the gold sickness reaching out for him with greedy fingers. This was just him being angry with that halfling for messing everything up, wasn't it?

Thorin strolled further away and Dwalin could only shake his head in disappointment. There was no way to reason with this stubborn dwarf now. "Please, just keep it together, Thorin." He mumbled more to himseld than to anyone before turning around and pacing back towards the campfire.

**A/N: Soo.. this chapter was a little bit longer than the other two. I put really much work into it and I'm pretty proud of it too. So let me know if you liked it. **

**Just to warn you ahead, this story is going to get really dark and depressing really soon. I feel so bad every time I plan a piece of the script. I think I will have to write something fluffy soon or the dark feels will drive me crazy ._.**

**Anyhow, please review and let me know your opinion! See you in the next chapter.**

**Love :3**

**Thaye**


	4. Chapter 4

It was long after nightfall and all lights in lake town had already been put out. The temperature dropped quickly below the freezing point and floes of ice began to gather around the stilts that kept the town afloat. No sane being would have voluntarily stepped outside into the cold. The people of Esgaroth were at home; those who could afford firewood were cradled cozy in front of the fireplace, others were huddled together in a desperate attempt to seek warmth in one another's closeness. In one of the smallest cabins Fili lay awake. The hours passed and the temperature outside dropped further as mist crept up the canals. Sleep would not come to him now, though it came to him so easily mere hours ago. The overwhelming joy he felt at Kili's awakening had dulled to a silent contentment as he watched the soft movement of his brother's chest rising and falling in the moonlight.

They had agreed on sharing the bed since Bard's home was not equipped for so many visitors. It didn't bother them for they were used to it since childhood. Sharing the bed was actually an indication for deep trust and Fili knew that Kili trusted him more than anyone in the world and the other way around. Sometimes when he couldn't sleep, Fili would watch his little brother sleeping. Some people may consider it a weird habit but for Fili it was a way of killing time. Also it was amusing to see how often Kili would roll around in his sleep, muttering determined nonsense or pull funny faces. Fili could tell exactly when his brother had fallen asleep because a small twitch ran through Kili's body everytime the dreamworld took over.

Fili yawned and turned onto his back. He was shivering slightly in the cold of the bedroom – Kili had claimed the whole cover for himself almost an hour ago – and could just not will his body to fall asleep. His mind was occupied with too many things, the biggest one obviously being the wellbeing of their company, now that he needn't fear for his little brother's life anymore. Had they found the hidden passageway? Had they managed to get there in time? Oh, how he wished he could have been there, stepping into the halls of his ancestors with Kili by his side and Thorin claiming his rightful throne...

Thorin – that was one of the other things, maltreating his mind. Fili winced despite himself as he remembered bits and pieces of his nightly companions. He was not one to be superstitious but these dreams were so intense and _realistic_ that it made him shiver by the mere thought of it. Should he tell someone about them? Whom would he tell?

Fili was pulled out of his thoughts by a sound next to him. Kili drew in a rather shaky breath before trying to resume a regular pattern. It was a sign so faintly, yet Fili knew what it meant.

"Kili, you're awake?" He whispered, his voice husky but he did not dare to clear his throat aloud. Beside him, Kili stirred and turned onto his side to face his brother, tangled strands of dark hair falling into his face, clumsy hands rubbing tired eyes.

"What's the matter, Fee?" Kili asked drowsily, cracking one eye open and peeking up at his brother. Fili couldn't hide a smile at this sight. Sometimes he felt like his baby brother would never really grow up.

"Nothing important" Fili replied and raised one hand to Kili's head to disentangle his dark mane but Kili shook him off sleepily.

"Then let me sleep, it's not even dawn" Kili complained, burying his face into the pillow with an annoyed groan. Fili raised an eyebrow in amusement but decided to let his brother sleep, after all Kili had to rest to regain his strength.

Some time passed and the implying twitch had yet to tell that Kili was back asleep. Fili was not even tired anymore, he just wanted the night to pass but the dark sky outside showed not even a hint of colour yet. Frustration started to built in Fili as the time seemed to take twice as long to pass just to mock him. He didn't even notice that his muscles had tensed and that he was twiddling his toes nervously until he heard an exasperated sigh from beside him.

"Fili, for _Mahal_'s sake, what it wrong?" Kili propped himself up on one arm and studied his brother's face. Fili ran a hand through his hair, his braids had come undone for what seemed like ages ago.

"It's... nothing, really. I just wonder if the others are alright." Fili tried to avoid his brother's searching gaze. He did not want to worry Kili now since he knew of his brother's explosive temper. Kili had the incredibly useless ability to work himself up about nearly everything. Too much excitement would do him no good since he was only just on the mend and couldn't even put enough pressure on his leg to walk yet.

"Go back to sleep, you need it." Fili offered but it was too late. Kili had already caught up on his brother's concern and Fili could see the frown deepening on his face.

"Why should they not be alright?" Kili asked, once again trying to catch his brother's glance, all tiredness forgotten. Thorin had left him with the promise that they would follow once his illness was cured, so what was his brother worried about?

"Please, Kili. Don't make such a fuss, I was just thinking aloud." He tried to sound reassuringly but Kili shook his head vigorously. Fili sighed, he couldn't fool his little brother.

"Come on Fili, out with it!" There was an edge of fear in Kili's voice and his tone was urgent, almost pleading.

"Fine." Fili snapped, rolling onto his side and pressing his face into his own pillow. He stayed like this for a few seconds before a light tug at his sleeve reminded him of Kili's request. He lifted his head, meeting Kili's gaze.

"If everything had gone as planned, would there not be any news from the mountain yet? We did not received any message confirming the success of our quest. We didn't receive any message at all! We have not seen the dragon, neither hide nor hair of our companions!" Fili's eyes were glistening with exhausted worry and he gained volume and speed as he spoke on.

"What could possibly have happened for them not to be able to send message? It has been a _week_, Kili! Something's wrong. I know it, I _feel _it." He fell silent as he noticed the growing distress in his brother's eyes. He had gone too far, unnecessarily worrying Kili. The younger dwarf lowered his gaze, seemingly terrified by what Fili had just implied. Fili swallowed hard against the lump that started to grow in his throat and he raised his arms to pull his little brother into a comforting embrace.

"I know what you mean." Kili said shakily, his voice hushed. Fili frowned and stopped in his movement. Deep distraught shone in Kili's eyes and it was only then that Fili noticed his brother was trembling despite the warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

"I can feel it too. I _saw_ it, when I was asleep, or rather unconscious."

The silence that settled in after Kili's words was enough for the brothers to understand. So the nightmares that were plaguing Fili since the day Thorin left them behind were not solely his... nor were they nightmares.

"What did you see?" Fili asked, his voice no more than a whisper. He already knew the answer but felt like he needed confirmation.

"The same thing I saw when I looked him in the eye back that day he left us." Kili replied.

"Madness" Fili breathed, his eyes opened wide as he locked his gaze with Kili's and his brother nodded ever so slightly. Fili sighed and buried his face in his hands, drawing few shaky breaths.

"Is it gaining control of him?" Kili's voice was small and he sounded much like the little dwarfling that would so often seek his big brother's comfort when a nightmare happened to infiltrate his sleep. Fili pulled him closer and protectively wrapped an arm around Kili's shoulders. How he wished that he could reassure him that none of the stories were true. That there was no faceless disease eating away at their uncle's mind.

Fili stayed silent and Kili's distress grew even stronger. He was no fool, neither was he blind. He knew very well what was going on but he still clung to the tiny scrap of hope that somehow, Fili would manage to ease this fate with simple words as he used to do when they were children. No matter what bad had happened to him back then, he always had either Fili or Thorin to comfort him. But that was long ago, it almost seemed like another lifetime. This was reality, it was truly happening and nothing Fili could say would ever make up for it.

"I never want this dreams to come true." Kili said and shifted so he could drape the blanket over them both. He felt his brother's hand once more combing through his tangled hair and this time he did not push him away. The motion was reassuring despite Fili's silence. If his brother had experienced only nearly equal nightmares than Kili had himself, he would understand.

"They won't" Fili answered after a long pause. He sounded deep in thought but at the same time strangely determined.

"We won't let them. I know they say that it runs in the line of Durin. And that no matter how hard you try not to subject to it, you won't be able to escape your fate."

Kili nodded. He had heard many variations of this story before. People had always tried to force him to belief that there was no other way, no alternative to this fate, for he and his brother were of the line of Durin just like their uncle and they would one and all succumb to the gold sickness in their blood.

"But listen to me, Kili. Let them talk. I know that we can prevent it from happening all over again. He is our uncle, he was like a father to us and I am not willing to give it all up for the sake of a stupid treasure, no matter how big it is." Fili's voice grew stronger with every word and at some point Kili had to remind his brother to keep the volume low so that he would not wake the entire house. As he finished his statement, Kili raised his gaze to meet his brother's. Fili's eyes were shining with determination and there was a fire burning in those deep blue mirrors that filled Kili's heart with new strength. He nodded eagerly.

"As soon as Oin gives me permission to walk, we will leave for Erebor. Message or not, I've had enough time to recover." At that, Fili raised his eyebrow, a grin playing on his lips.

"Are you sure? You still look pretty pale to me." He said teasingly, knowing how Kili hated to be bed-stricken. As an answer, he received a soft punch to the shoulder and Kili's famous puppy eyes.

* * *

For the first time since he left Bag End, Bilbo didn't know what to do. Well, there had been situations in which he had been left to find a solution and felt utterly lost, but this was different. Since they arrived at Erebor and discovered the dragon's absence, the dwarves had been busy cleaning out the living quarters – well part of them, there were way to many to be cleaned by merely a handful of dwarves – and making themselves a home. Bilbo helped them where he could and where they would allow him to but he just couldn't stop feeling superfluous. His part in this play had been to sneak into the mountain and retrieve the Arkenstone. Since there was no treasure left to fetch and no dragon to steal from, the company had no use for their burglar anymore.

So Bilbo spent hours wandering the many corridors and halls of the old dwarven kingdom, exploring it's secrets and admiring the handiwork which was used to form the great pillars or platforms, the statues that decorated the bigger halls and the carved pictures lining every corridor. Each told their own story and Bilbo enjoyed to follow the rows of ancient artworks, guessing their meaning. On his trips through the mountain he got lost several times and sometimes it took him half a day or more to return to the living quarters, only to find what was left of the company unaware of his absence or not bothering to look for him. Sometimes he managed to tell himself that they had other things in mind but often enough he failed to do so and it made him sad. He had just started to feel accepted in their middle but it was getting clearer with every day that passed that he had never really been part of their company.

As more time passed, the dwarves found bits of the treasure in various chambers. Chests full of gold and jewels but – according to Balin – nothing compared to what they should have found in these halls. Every time one of them discovered some treasure piece, Thorin would come rushing into the room and rummage through the chest, cabinet, storeroom – whatever it was – just to turn around with a disappointed scowl and leave as quickly as he'd arrived. No one dared to question the king's behaviour, some of them shook their head or muttered their concerns when Thorin was out of earshot.

Once Bilbo had tried to talk to Balin about the situation. The hobbit had not managed to cast the image of Thorin's hateful stare the day they arrived out of his mind. Neither could he forget the raw force with which the dwarf had pushed him up against the wall, nearly choking him while clenching the collar of his vest. The mere memory of Thorin's undisguised hatred and disgust sent shivers down his spine to the point where he couldn't stand it anymore. Balin kept calm and reserved. He muttered something about bad temper and ended the conversation with a hesitant nod and a sad smile. Bilbo, however, was not one to fool easily. Over the time he had spent in the company of thirteen dwarves he had learned that they were a rather quick-tempered kind. But Thorin's behavious at the hidden passageway and even after that event was completely out of character. He had seen the dwarven king getting angry or obsessed, but he had also seen him care for his kin and smile in relief. That just didn't seem right and often Bilbo would end up with quiet a headache when he worked himself up too much about it.

At some point he had managed to figure out that whatever was plaguing Thorin had to do with the treasure. Tales of the dwarven greed for gold were known even in the shire and he knew the one about Thrain loosing his kingdom since he was a small halfling. His mother had always told him stories over which his father could only shake his head for they were to adventurous.

Though Balin obviously had not wanted to talk about it, Bilbo could see clearly that Thorin's mind was decaying in some kind of madness. Still the hobbit had no idea what consequences this would have for all of them.

He walked for hours, the well-known paths long behind him, a still unexplored part of the mountain to his feet. He entered a big hall, even bigger than the one he was sent into by his first scouting trip. Four towers – well they looked like towers – stood in a row in the middle of the hall. Bilbo turned his head to take in his surroundings. Numerous channels formed patterns on the floor, each of them leading towards the towers or away from them in a complicated network. The high ceiling was covered with rails on which a great number of lores was hung up to transport material. Most of them were empty but some, Bilbo could discover, were filled with what looked like ore or some kind of minerals. The railsystem led down the hall that ended in a large passageway at the opposing side. In the far corner to his left, two gigantic hammers hung from the ceiling and all around the place all kinds of anvils could be found.

Bilbo could imagine this place to be filled with hundreds of dwarves in heavy mining clothes, faces dirty with rus and dust. The buzz of voices filling the hall and the clanging of steel against steel echoing from the walls. He was standing in Erebor's forge.

Suddenly, Bilbo felt very small and insignificant. Surely his imagination could not compete with what it must have looked and _felt_ like back in the days of Erebor's glory, but he only now began to understand how big, how _great_ this kingdom once must have been.

"Wow." The word escaped Bilbo's lips before he could hold it back. His voice was carried far by the wide, empty hall and the echo was tossed back and forth by the high walls and the ceiling above him. It made the hobbit shudder and he shrank back, ducking his head as if he expected some kind of punishment for disturbing the magical silence. As nothing happened at all he ventured further into the forge, nearing one of the four 'towers' that seemed to be the furnaces. Around every one of them some kind of acaffolding allowed him to climb up to the melting pot and cast a look inside. Unfortunately the dwarves never seemed to have heard anything about railings which didn't get along too well with Bilbo's fear of heights.

The first pot, however was empty and a little bit disappointed, Bilbo made his way back down the scaffolding and over to the next furnace. This one was about half filled with what looked like gold-ore. For a brief moment, Bilbo considered sliding down into the pot and grabbing some of the ore. No one would miss it, unlike the gold the others had found. He touched the cold metal of the pot's edge, trying not to imagine it being scorching hot and melting his skin away like ice. He was just about to turn his back to the pot and to this stupid idea, when something caught his eye.

* * *

Thorin stormed out of the room, leaving a puzzled Nori to clean up the mess he'd just made. Starting to clean out the living quarters was a strange sensation. Seeing all those well-known places covered in dust and rubble where there had once been polished marble tables and golden candlesticks – it just felt... phony. There should be halls filled with gold and precious jewels, not empty, dirt-covered caves wherever he turned. It wasn't right. This was not the same place he left centuries ago, not anymore. It was the empty shell, the mere disguise of what should have been his kingdom to rule, now hollow and useless.

Unlike the others, Thorin could not bring himself to appreciate the ancient halls and wonderful artworks, delicate carvings or magnificent balconies. He was next to no help at all when it came to cleaning up parts of the chambers and corridors. Though he was perfectly aware of this fact, Thorin couldn't care less. After all as a king, it was definitely not _his_ job to do all the work. Furthermore the others made good progress even without him, so why should he care? The only thing that could draw his attention was the occasional discovery of treasure parts. Ori had been the first one to stumble over a chest filled with gold coins and jewelry, carelessly tossed inside as if in a haste. The other day, Gloin was about to tear down a rotten closet as with a loud clatter pieces of armor fell out. They were good pieces and some of them had surely never seen a real battle before, more likely being used for ceremonial issues only.

After this first discoveries, Thorin's hopes had gone sky high. It seemed that, after all, not everything was lost. Some of the treasure they would be able to retrieve from the ruins, Smaug had left most of the upper levels on the east side in. It was a miracle that not a single chamber of the royal quarters had been damaged and Thorin's mood was lightened by the thought that there might sill be a chance to find _it_. He ended up digging through even the smallest treasure chest, storeroom or cupboard, eager to find what he had been seeking since their quest began, furthermore since the dragon drove him away from his home. From time to time he would still hear that little voice in the back of his head telling him to stop and to already give up on this 'stupid jewel' for there were more important things to deal with. He pushed it out of his thoughts but it would come back until he increasingly succeeded to silence it by focusing his mind – if that was even possible – more on the Arkenstone.

Thorin felt genuine relief to have his head to himself as the voice backed down more and more often. He did not realize what it was that he was pushing away, neither did he care as long as it meant peace of mind, if only for a brief moment.

Behind him, he could hear Nori mutter some curses in Khuzdul but decided to ignore him. He had grown tired of punishing the dwarves for everything they did wrong since that happened far too frequently. It would only end up with every last of them locked up in a cell, leaving Thorin himself to do all the work

On his way back to the royal quarters he encountered a stressed-looking Balin. The old dwarf's face lit up at the sight of Thorin.

"Oh Thorin, good to meet you!" He positioned himself in the middle of the hallway so said dwarf could not simply ignore and walk past him like he used to do lately. When Thorin refused to meet his cousin's gaze, Balin cleared his throat urgently.

"Thorin, I would really love not to dwell on it" Balin stated in a matter of fact tone. "But we need to send word. To Ered Luin, to the Iron Hills and don't forget your nephews in Esgaroth. I'm pretty sure they are desperate to hear about our wellbeing."

Thorin choose not to answer. He really didn't feel like talking about his nephews right now. Also he didn't even know about _their _wellbeing to start with. All he wanted right now was to be left alone to sort his mind once again. Balin, however, took Thorin's silence as confirmation to speak on.

"Gloin has volunteered to travel back to Ered Luin and deliver the message of our success." He needn't mention that the main reason for that was Gloin wanting to see his son again. Thorin felt a twist of guilt in his stomach at the thought of his sister back in the Blue Mountains, completely oblivious to everything that had happened. He couldn't even stand the mere imagination of Dís, how she was utterly concerned and worried about her sons, having no clue if they were even still alive.

Slowly, as if in a trance, Thorin nodded.

"Let him go, then. He shall return to the Blue Mountains with news of his king."

And with that, Thorin pushed past Balin and hurried down the corridor. He reached the royal quarters in no time, locking the door of his chamber once he entered. No one saw his facade crumble as the voice in the back of his head grew louder and stronger once again.

_I told you, didn't I? The treasure is more important to you than your family. What has become of _Uncle Thorin_, the Thorin that would do what is best for the ones he loves? _

Thorin shook his head furiously, his hands entangled with his dark hair, messing up neatly-tied braids as they clenched into fists. It wasn't true. He was still the same person, nothing had changed. Once he found the Arkenstone, everything would be fine. His family would be there and they would enjoy their new home in the lonely mountain and nothing would ever ruin that.

His thoughts drifted off to Esgaroth, to his nephews which he had left there to reach the hidden door in time. And suddenly fears that he'd kept pushing away for the sake of his sanity came crushing down on him. What it Kili hadn't recovered. He'd been looking so pale and weak. But it was just an arrow-wound, this wasn't the first time his youngest got shot. Something must have been wrong... the arrow. It must have been poisoned. Thorin had heard stories of Orcs using arrows dipped in poison. It worked quickly and was impossible to get out of the system in time to save the victim.

Thorin's blood ran cold as he hunched over, quiet sobs shaking his shoulders as the voice in his head worked at full blast.

_I told you, Thorin Oakenshield. King under the mountain. I told you so. _

* * *

Two days after their nightly discussion, they were already running out of supplies as Bard's calculations proved wrong, it knocked on the door. Fili was in the living room practising with Kili, whom Oin had allowed to walk in the morning after the young dwarf wriggled out of the bed, unable to lie still any longer and almost lost his footing for his muscles weren't used to strain anymore. The figure entered the room silently and only after some moments, Kili would turn around to face the door and catch sight of their new company.

"Dwalin!" Kili's face lit up with joy as he hobbled over to the elder dwarf and almost lost his balance had it not been for Dwalin to reach out a hand and steady him. Fili also rushed to Dwalin's side, welcoming him with a broad grin and a friendly clap on the shoulder.

"It's good to see you both." Dwalin even managed a smile as he eyed Kili precisely before nodding in contentment. "Especially you, Kili. We were pretty worried for you. Up and about again?"

Kili nodded, steadying himself with a hand on Fili's shoulder. "Still practicing but the worst is over." He replied.

"Please Dwalin, I don't want to rush you but we gotta know what happened!" Fili interfered, his eyes pleading and his tone urgent.

So Dwalin sat them down at the table and gave them a brief account of what happened after they reached the lonely mountain. When he finished, there was a deep silence and Fili felt dizzy all of a sudden.

"So... he's really gone then?" It took a while for the truth to sink in. Kili blinked a few times, searching Dwalin's expression for any signs that the elder dwarf was joking but could find none. Fili still hadn't moved, staring dead ahead with wide eyes.

"Aye, the mountain is ours now." Dwalin replied. "We have already started cleaning up the living quarters but it will take forever to finish the job with just the few of us. This dragon has left Erebor in such a mess, it's almost depressing."

"What about Thorin?" Fili's voice sounded nothing like himself, more like that of a child afraid to be punished. Dwalin shrugged with a small sigh.

"I don't know, lad. He's behaving strange lately. Maybe all it needs is for the excitement to settle... you better see for yourself."

It was like a physical blow, having his suspicions confirmed. Fili averted his gaze and simply nodded. Kili's reaction was a bit more dramatic.

"He's not worried? About us I mean?" Their uncle had always cared for them as he would have for his own children. Kili didn't mean that he _wanted_ Thorin to be worried about them all the time but it seemed strange to him that he did not mention them or Kili's injury even once. Dwalin frowned as if trying to remember something, but then simply shook his head.

"Better see for yourself." he repeated before getting up.

"When are we going to leave?" Fili asked, offering an arm around Kili's shoulder to try to comfort his little brother, if only a bit.

"Can you walk?" Dwalin asked, looking Kili over once more.

"Sure, if I take it easy I'm practically ready to go." Kili replied grinning, but his answer wasn't even half as cheeky as he wanted it to sound and he knew that out of all he could not fool neither Fili nor Dwalin.

"We better wait until tomorrow then." Dwalin decided, ignoring Kili's protests of 'I can do this' and turning to leave the room. He stopped right in front of the door and turned back to the brothers once more, managing a small smile.

"Don't worry too much, it will all be back to normal in no time once we get back. You'll see." And with that he left the room.

Kili swallowed hard and Fili pulled him into a tight hug for he knew what was going on in his brother's head.

As much as Kili could not fool Dwalin, Dwalin was not able to fool them.

**A/N: Finally, another chapter. This took me forever to write, I'm sorry ._. Anyhow, a lot of Fili/Kili in this part but don't worry, there will be more Bilbo in the next chapters. I hope I can update soon but my work is really hard at the moment and when I get home I'm so exhausted that I lay down on my bed and fall asleep right away.. I'm not kidding! **

**Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you liked/didn't like/would like I always appreciate constructive criticism. I you happen to find a lot of typos, don't be to mad at me, most of this was written after midnight :D**

**Love :3**

**Thaye**


	5. Chapter 5

Without a second thought, Bilbo grabbed the edge of the metal and hauled himself up until he could swing his legs over and slid down into the melting pot. It was about the size of his living room in Bag End, just much higher. He staggered as is feet met the unstable ground of gold ores and for a moment the hobbit struggled to regain his balance, steadying himself with one hand on the pot's cold metal wall.

"Easy now" he reminded himself. "The last thing I need at the moment is to slip and hit my head somewhere."

It was a rather strange sensation, standing inside a huge melting pot, on top of a massive furnace that was more than ten times his height, in the middle of likely the largest forge of all middle earth, talking to himself like an idiot.

But something had caught his attention. It was as if the chunks of ore in the middle of the pot emanated some kind of glow. A warm, white light shone through them, implying that something important was lying underneath.

Curiosity like he had never experienced before overcame Bilbo as he ventured further down into the pot until he reached the glowing spot. He knelt down hesitantly, forgetting about his displeasure of dirty clothes for the moment.

"It's shining" he stated matter of factly as if explaining the situation to a child. He waited a second for his echo of his voice to get lost between the pillars at the far sides of the forge, before he started digging.

The gold ores were heavier than they looked. Indeed, it took Bilbo all of three minutes to find a piece that he was strong enough to lift. It was disillusioning small but the moment it was gone, the glowing intensified. Bilbo's eyes shone with curiosity and determination as he took hold of a second piece of ore. This one was much bigger and heavier than the previous but somehow he managed to roll it over and out of the way. His hands were already bleeding out of various cuts, decorating his fingers as he shoved a third chunk aside.

The light was almost blinding.

Bilbo staggered back a few steps, shielding his eyes with one hand, the other frantically searching for something to grab and hold on to, so he would not lose his footing.

It took a moment for his confusion to subside before he could crack open one eye then, tentatively, the other. The light was nowhere near as bright as it had been mere seconds ago.

Hesitantly, Bilbo took a step forward, placing his feet carefully to not trip again. The sight was breathtaking.

In the middle of pile of dirty ore-chunks lay a jewel so white and pure, Bilbo had to look twice to be sure it was truly there. It was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

"A great white jewel, indeed." Bilbo whispered, his voice like an enchanted singsong. He dropped down to his knees, ignoring the pain, the impact caused and reached one hand out to touch this beautiful source of light and divinity.

What he met brought him back down to earth very quickly. The jewel, as bright and charming as it might be, was deadly cold when his fingertips brushed gently over the smooth surface. Bilbo flinched slightly but, despite himself, reached out his other hand to pick up the Arkenstone - which it indeed was. The jewel felt heavy in his hands and Bilbo had to hold on very tightly so that it would not slip out of his grasp and fall to the ground.

Making his way down the scaffolding with this burden in his arms was a hell of a task. Bilbo huffed disapprovingly as the weight shifted awkwardly in his hands. The fascination he had felt by the first sight of the King's jewel was completely gone, replaced by the quite annoyed attitude, the hobbit normally only held towards his sackville-baggins relatives. He could not understand where the dwarve's craze about this stupid jewel was coming from.

"Just another too big jewel that's too heavy to carry for a long time, impractical in every way! Why do I even bother to bring it along?" He stopped for a second, considering the option of simply dropping the Arkenstone and leaving the forge. The idea was put aside swiftly. He was not a good liar. Should Thorin or one of the others ask him if he encountered anything out of sorts on his trips, he would not be able to fool them. And should they find out he had found the Arkenstone and left it – He could as well start writing his own testament.

So Bilbo found himself dragging the Arkenstone along through long corridors and wide halls until he neared the living quarters once again. He then stoppen and hide the jewel behind a pillar, he knew none of the others had ever passed so far. The hobbit intended to come back later with a bag or something to carry the damn thing. With one last glance over his shoulder, Bilbo left the Arkenstone be the Arkenstone and headed down the corridor into the direction where the muffled humming of several voices could be heard.

* * *

'Practically ready to go' was not exactly how one would describe Kili's state the next day. With the first streaks of sunlight bursting through the gray cover of mist, the young dwarf had been on his feet, preparing for their journey, carelessly stuffing clothes into bags, strapping weapons to belts and checking his quiver for any lack of arrows. Pleased to find everything in order, Kili allowed himself to rest for a couple of minutes before he would go and wake the others.

He sat on a chair in the small bedroom which the, now five, dwarves shared. Bofur was snoring so loud that Kili wondered when the dusty windows would succumb to the deep vibrations and break. Dwalin had fallen asleep on a fur carpet sometime in the night despite his intention to stand guard, should the orcs return. Oin was nowhere to be seen and had already been gone when Kili had woken up.

Fili was asleep on the bed next to him and though his face looked peaceful, he tossed and turned in his sleep and could not seem to find a comfortable position. That was so absolutely not like Fili. Kili frowned and leaned forward in his chair, watching his big brother's face precisely. Fili's brow was slightly furrowed and Kili could see his eyes moving frantically underneath his lids. The elder dwarf was obviously dreaming and, the situation being as it was, that could only mean one thing.

Kili reached out and shook his brother's shoulder gently to wake him up.

"Fee. Wake up." He whispered gently, not wanting to wake neither Dwalin nor Bofur. Fili stirred, rolling over to his other side, facing away from his little brother, still refusing to leave the dreamworld behind completely.

"Come on you stubborn dwarf. Get up!" He shook once again, stronger this time, and Fili straightened up with a sudden intake of breath. His eyes were wide and he frantically searched the room for any signs of danger. Once he realized there was no threat upon him, he wanted to curse but Kili pressed a firm hand over his mouth and gestured for him to stay silent and follow him out of the room.

"Okay, what's the matter? I only just fell asleep and it's still early. Couldn't you let me sleep for just a couple of hours?" Fili sighed as he followed his little brother out of the room and into the kitchen. Neither Bard nor his children were anywhere near, most likely still sound asleep in their beds. The older brother yawned and rubbed his face with one hand, stretching his free arm to shake off the drowsyness.

"You had a nightmare, don't you remember?" Kili shifted from one foot to the other. It didn't seem to hurt him anymore to put weight on his wounded led. Fili shook his head.

"No I don't. Well, not this time." He replied.

"But you _do _remember the other times?" Kili asked, curiosity creeping up on him, though he wasn't sure if he even wanted to know the answer.

"Yes, but-" Fili was interrupted by the squeaking of the opening frontdoor as Oin stepped inside, his arms loaded with bandages and several little bottles.

"Ah, you're awake, I see. Good good." He scurried into the kitchen and over to his bag that lay on the counter, already half-packed.

"Where have you been?" asked Fili, relieved not having to answer Kili's last question.

"Running for supplies." The old healer answered curtly as he stuffed the medical equipment into his bag, along with some foot that lay ready beside it.

"How comes you still have money for supplies?" Kili frowned. As far as he was concerned, they all spent their last money on Bard, so he would smuggle them into Esgaroth. Oin winked.

"I have my secret sources. Besides, I used almost all of my supplies on your leg. Speaking of which, how are you feeling, lad?"

Dumbstruck by the amount of speech and the almost happy attitude of the usually rather grumpy dwarf, neither one of the brothers did manage a decent reply. It was when Oin nodded his head towards Kili's leg, that the young dwarf snapped out of his surprise.

"The leg? Oh, yes of course. It's fully operational." He answered hastily to cover his amusement about Oin's behaviour.

"Oin, old friend. May I ask you what the reason for your merriment is?" came Dwalin's deep voice from behind as the dwarf stepped out of the bedroom. He had been awakened by the humming of voices and not least by Bofur's monumental snoring.

"Maybe it is, indeed Master Dwalin, the prospect of better times to dawn on us. By Mahal's sake, this company has gone through enough in the past months." He gestured towards Kili, or rather towards his leg. "We should all appreciate what is to come. I've had enough of stiching you all up. After this all is done, I'm gonna need some vacation."

Dwalin's stoic expression broke into a broad grin as he put an arm around the old healer and patted him on the back. Though in his eyes, there remained a tiny glimmer of doubt, unseen by Oin.

"In Aulë's name, I really hope your words to bet true." He then turned around to face the brothers and tilted his head as a greeting.

"Ready to go?" He asked and before Fili could do so much as to even open his mouth, Kili nodded eagerly and pointed towards the frontdoor, where several bags and packs lay ready.

"I've taken the liberty to pack everything up. I hope you don't mind. I couldn't sleep anyway." He stated with a grin.

"Well then, we should get this ol' sleepyhead out of bed, shall we?" Dwalin smirked.

An hour later the dwarves stood gathered by the frontdoor. Bard had woken up shortly after they roused Bofur. He insisted that the small company would stay for a (all be it short) breakfast, since they had a rather long trip to make and needed all the strentgh they could get. They chatted and laughed around the table but as the time drew closer to speak their farewells, they fell silent, one after the other. Some of them shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, others just lowered their glances, unable and unwilling to find the right words.

Kili fumbled nervously with the fur lining of the coat he had been given by Bard, since his own one had been left back in the dungeons of Mirkwood.

"Now now, what about all the long faces?" Bard tried a smile to ease the mood.

"I mean, that won't be a goodbye forever. I heavily doubt that you would be able to keep your dwarven asses out of trouble without my gracious support."

Bard's friendly-teasing words evoked an approving hum from Oin, a small smile from Dwalin and broad grins from the brothers. Bofur was still too tired to do much more than twitch the corners of his mouth upwards to indicate his amusement. Though it was unlike him not to appreciate a good joke, the others did not give too much thought to it.

Fili stepped forward, holding a hand out for Bard to shake.

"Well then, Master Bard. Farewell, for the moment. I trust that we can leave Esgaroth to your caring." He smiled sadly. He had not been blind to the misery and poverty the people of lake town had to endure. But at the moment, with things being as they were, there was nothing he could do to help these people other than to leave them in the hands of an unseen secret saviour.

Bard frowned at Fili's outstretched hand. Then he smiled, grabbing the dwarf by the arm and pulling him into a hug that was most unexpected from Fili's side. After a second of confusion, the dwarf returned the gesture.

"I do not know how to ever repay you for what service you did to us." Fili whispered in a low voice so that only Bard could hear him.

"But if you should _ever_ need help. I will be glad to offer my assistance." The two then pulled apart and straightened, ignoring the confused glances, the other dwarves shot them.

Bard placed a hand on Fili's shoulder and mustered a genuine smile. "Your words are much appreciated, Master Fili. One day, you will be a respectful king, that I am sure of." He then took a step backwards and nodded to the other dwarves.

Fili returned to his brother's side, placing a gentle hand on Kili's shoulder and smiling reassuringly. With a last look back to Bard who stood in the kitchen, his children gathered around him, he pushed the door open and the small company set off on their way to the lonely mountain.

"You two need a break?" Bofur jogged over to the brothers who were walking along the far end of their short line. They had been walking for three hours at least and Kili began to feel the pain-easing effect of whatever draught Oin had given him wear off. Nearly every step shot spikes of pain through his still mending leg and he had to reduce his speed drastically rather than having to stop completely.

"No, no. It's okay, I just need..." Kili stopped in his tracks and bent over to catch his breath, one hand clenching his thigh. "I'm fine" He gasped.

Bofur eyed him warily before nodding and signing for Dwalin, who walked first and had stopped to wait for the brothers, to continue.

"I can give you a bit of that draught to keep the pain at bay, if you want. My supplies are low but a few drops won't hurt." Oin tossed in. He chuckled softly about his own joke (that the pain-easing draught wouldn't hurt) and was about to remove his bag and search for the right bottle when Kili interfered.

"No, I don't need it. It's nothing, really. I almost don't feel anything." The young dwarf protested, raising his hands and forcing a smile on his lips to prove his words. He would not let any weakness slow him down now, when they were so close to their goal.

"If you say so." Oin huffed and rearranged his pack. He was about to shake his head about the stubbornness of those Durin folks, when an alarmed shout drew their attention away.

"Orcs!" Dwalin reached behind his back for his axes just in time for the rest of the small company to hear the grunting screams that were so familiar to them all at this point of the quest. There was this short moment of paralyzation that followed the understanding of imminent threat. Then, without further warning a warg burst out of the woods just to their left. Atop it sat an orc, armed to the teeth, a sickening grin on his ugly visage as he focused his glare on Dwalin, who seemed to be the biggest threat at the moment.

"What have we here?" The orc snarled with a voice rough like sandpaper. He drew his frayed blade and bent his neck until his joints cracked. The sound was sickening and the orc took visible pleasure in it's victims disgust.

Without the slightest hint of a command, the warg charged and leaped forward in Dwalin's direction. The old dwarf raised his axes, ready to take the creature's ugly head off of it's shoulders, when the warg froze in mid air and let out a piercing yelp. It dropped down like a stone and buried it's rider underneath it's massive body. Confused at first, Dwalin soon noticed the arrow sticking out of the twitching warg's abdomen and spun around in time to see Kili fitting another one into his bow.

"Move!" The youngest of the dwarves yelled and aimed for the woods. "This one must be only a scout. They never attack alone, those bastards!"

Kili's aggression startled Fili but there was no time to wonder about it now. He quickly drew his twin swords and ran up to Dwalin who just beheaded the orc that was still stuck underneath his mount's dead body.

Kili shot his second arrow before anyone else could see the enemy. As the second warg lurched out of the tree line, it's rider was already hanging lifeless in the saddle. Once again they all were glad about the young dwarf's excellent eyesight. Kili then lowered the bow and made to follow his brother. As the pain flared up anew in his leg, he grimaced and stopped in his tracks. Bofur was by his side in an instant, slinging Kili's arm over his own shoulder and pulling the young dwarf up. He supported him enough, so they could take a few steps into the other's direction. They had already reached them, when a cracking noise made them turn around.

"Watch out!"

Bofur and Kili were thrown to the ground by the impact of the massive warg's body. Bofur lost his grip on Kili's arm as the collision with the hard ground knocked the wind out of his lungs. His head met the stone beneath and his vision went black.

Kili struggled to reach his sword that hung still sheathed at his belt. The warg's gigantic claws pinned him down and made every movement nearly impossible. The ugly creature bared it's huge teeth and it's foul breath made Kili wand to throw up immediatly. This rapiers would lacerate him in no time if he took no action.

"Get away from him!"

A fountain of blood flooded Kili, as the warg's throat was slit open and a tortured howl ringed in his ears, mixing up with the battle-noises of the other's, making him feel dizzy. As if in a trance, Kili's eyes scurried around, searching for the source of this distress. He found Bofur lying next to him, unmoving and an edge of fear tore at his mind. The next moment, he was pulled upright by a strong hand at the collar of his coat.

"Kili! Answer me brother!" Fili's voice was worried and Kili blinked a few times. He then shook his head to get rid of the dizziness.

"I'm okay. What about Bofur?" Kili asked concerned.

"He hit his head and passed out. He'll be fine if-" Fili had no time to end his sentence as a cry from Dwalin made him spin around.

"We have to run. There's no use fighting them, they're too many!" The old warrior yelled as he split one warg's skull in two, before taking it's rider's head as well. He then ran back to the brothers, Oin in tow.

"I'll take Bofur. Kili can you run?" Dwalin asked, brows knitted together in a deep frown. He heavily doubted his own request but had to ask it nevertheless. In the distance they could already hear the alarmed shrieks of what seemed to be an endless supply of warg scouts. They had to move. Now.

"I think I can manage." Kili answered, trying to sound determined. But he couldn't fool anyone. His face showed how tired and in how much pain he was and his shaky voice betrayed his words. Fili sighed.

"I'll carry him, Dwalin. Now go!" Before Kili could put up a fight, Fili slung his arms around his little brother's middle and lifted him over his shoulder. There was no time now for a gentle treatment if they valued their lives. Dwalin picked up Bofur in a similar manner and the dwarves took off running into the general direction of the lonely mountain.

"They're too fast!" Fili's shout almost drowned in the cacophony of their persecutor's howls and screams. About a dozen scouts were on their heels now and the dwarves ran as they had never ran in all their lives.

"Then what do you suggest?" Dwalin spat, unable to control his anger. He was tired and out of breath and Bofur was getting heavier on his shoulder with every second.

"If we can't outrun them, we have no other choice than to fight them!" Oin ventured, being the only one running without a burden on his shoulder.

"We can't fight them. Not all at once." Dwalin shot back.

"I can shoot them from the distance!" Kili tossed in from over Fili's shoulder.

"We have no other choice Dwalin!" Fili shouted and skittered to a halt, ignoring the warrior's protests. As his feet touched the ground, Kili immediately fitted an arrow into his bow and took down the warg closest to them. Him being the only archer in the group, there was nothing the others could do than wait for the approaching wargs to reach them.

Kili focused on taking down the wargs rather than the orcs riding them. Orcs were by far not as fast as wargs. They could deal with a few orcs on foot.

Some of the wargs took two or even three hits to succumb and fall. Kili didn't notice his quiver emptying more and more until he had his last arrow in hand. He aimed carefully and let it fly. It hit home in an approaching warg's eyesocket and the creature dropped dead by the spot.

"That's it. I'm out of arrows." He drew his sword and the others also readied. There were still three wargs left, not counting the mountless orcs that were freeing themselves from the dead wargs at the moment.

"Leave the big one to me!" Dwalin shouted just before said warg charged at him and with a roaring battlecry, he swung his axes to the beast's ruin.

Fili drew his swords once more and with a furious cry he ran towards the second warg, ducking underneath it's snapping jaws and plunging one blade handle-deep into the creature's side before blocking the orc's attack with the other. The warg went down with a harrowing yelp but the orc managed to jump off, immidiately attacking Fili, who managed to dodge the swinging blade at the last second.

Dwalin had finished off the big warg by the time and was now helping Oin against the third and last one. Kili stood behind them rather unsure, blade drawn and a pained expression on his face. He wanted to help them but there was little strength left in him. He could see Fili fighting one of the orcs as another one charged at his brother from behind. "Fili, watch out!" Kili yelled and forced himself to ignore the pain and run to Fili's aid.

He reached him just in time to block the approaching orc's attack that had otherwise split his brother's head in two. The sound of metal against metal so close by drew Fili's attention and he turned around for a split second to see his little brother end the orc's life with a blade through the creature's foul heart. He smiled approvingly before turning around again and driving his own sword through the other orc's throat.

A pained howl indicated the death of the last warg and the remaining orcs either took off running or were slain quickly by Dwalin's axes. The battle was over and the dwarves drained from what little energy they've had left in them. Kili sank to the ground next to the still unconscious Bofur, clutching his thigh. Fili hunched over to catch his breath and Dwalin leaned on his axe, breathing heavily. Oin was already by Bofur's side, cheking the dwarf for any further damage. Pleased to find no severe injuries he proceeded to check Dwalin and Fili as well before tending to Kili.

"I have to take a look at that leg." He explained, but Kili shook his head quickly.

"No, we can't stay here. There are surely more of them hiding in the woods and they will come if we stay." Kili cast his brother a questioning look and Fili nodded in confirmation after he gave it a quick thought.

"That't right Kili. But I think Oin's right too, you should let him look at the leg." He answered. Kili shot him an annoyed look and then shook his head.

"We're not far away from the lonely mountain anymore. If we manage to get you to Erebor, we can look after your leg, if you please." Dwalin suggested. They all thought about it for a couple of seconds before everyone gave their agreement just in time for Bofur to regain consciousness with a loud groan.

"Mahal, what happened? You all look like you went through hell. What's all that blood, laddie?" He nodded towards Kili who was still covered in the dead warg's blood.

"Nothing, we just kicked a few orc asses while you were sleeping like a baby." Dwalin grinned. Bofur looked confused but did not ask any more questions. They stayed a few moments longer to gather enough strength to go on.

Fili and Dwalin supported Kili to either side of him as they resumed their travel. They had still one, maybe two hours to walk and it was already nearing nightfall.

**A/N: Hey there. I'm back with another chapter. I hope you liked it. I'll try to get the next out as fast as I can so there will not be this huuuge gap in between the chapters again, I'm sorry for that. **

**This is the first time I'm writing battle scenes and it is really difficult so please be gentle with me. I hope it is not too confusing. **

**No Thorin in this chapter. I just didn't feel like writing him. He'll be in the next one, though.**

**As always, feel free to let me know what you liked/disliked/would like.. reviews fuel my imagination ;D**

**Love you :3**

**Thaye**


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